The only way to enjoy an experience is to actually be there for it, mentally as well as physically. I’ve been at high school football games where every parent in the stands is “there” physically, but thumbing away on their Blackberry. Guess what? Everybody, including the kid you’re there to watch, knows you aren’t “there.” And how much fun are you having? You didn’t see the spectacular catch at the 10 yard line or the cheerleader stunts on the sidelines. You didn’t smell the hot dogs or feel the breeze. You sat in the car taking a call during halftime and missed the high school band version of Led Zeppelin hits. But hey, you were “there.”
I know, I know, you’re already trying to eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep, all while leading in the workplace, your family, and the community, and now I’m telling you that you must actually be mentally present for all of that? Yes. What difference does it make what you’re physically doing if you’re not experiencing it?
Unfortunately, being mentally present is no easier that staying physically fit. It takes effort. In its natural state, your mind operates much like a car radio on “scan.” It plays a little bit of one station then goes to the next station, jumping about from one song to the other. Another way to think about it is your mind is like a stream, always rolling along from one thing to another. If you stay on the surface of the water, when the winds pick up, you will be rocked about with the rapids. But if you have invested the time necessary to focus your mind, to remain present and focused, when the winds come you can dive to the deepest part of a pool, down deep where everything is still despite the rapids on the surface. And you’ll actually experience things!
Executive Mamas recognize it requires tremendous discipline to maintain mental focus on the present moment and they work at it. A couple of resources I’ve found particularly helpful (not endorsed by FranklinCovey Company, simply recommendations from Jennifer Colosimo among the many existing options) are books, audio, and practices taught by Eckhart Tolle and Eknath Easwaran.
Author: Jennifer Colosimo, Vice President of Sales and Delivery Effectiveness at FranklinCovey